top of page
"An assumption is the joke, truth the punchline."
Standard
Customized
More

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
Author Name
Personal Development

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
Author Name
Personal Development

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
Author Name
Personal Development

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Author Name
Personal Development

"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
Author Name
Personal Development

"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
Author Name
Personal Development

"She watched him for a long moment, an adorably annoyed frown wrinkling her forehead. "You're obnoxious when you're right."
Author Name
Personal Development
More

"Everything at some point has been declared the root of all evil."
Philosophy

"To believe in the truth of Christ is to be introduced to another form of hatred, and that is not sharing Him."
Faith

"I never feel unsafe except for when the majority is on my side."
Fear

"The best of fiction, as we know, of course, doesn't tell the truth; it tales the truth."
Literature

"A good work ethic is not so much a concern for hard work but rather one for responsibility. There have been a great many men and women who have in fact used work or hustle or selfish ambition as an escape from real responsibility, an escape from purpose. In matters such as these, the hard worker is just as dysfunctional as the sloth."
Work

"Faith, in its most correct form, never removes responsibility; it removes fear of responsibility. The results are complete opposites with the greater saying, 'God's will is my delight."
Faith

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Humor

"It's not about whether or not someone is a bigot, but whether or not the argument which that someone is arguing is worth being a bigot about."
Argument

"The Christian does not avoid sin to achieve salvation, but rather salvation brings him to a desire not to sin. The closer that one's spirit is synchronized with the holy knowledge of God, the more he comprehends how and why sin is destructive to himself and others in each and every circumstance. The dwindling desire for sin is a premature gift of Heaven - where there will be no sin, where all will, too, possess that full and complete wisdom; all will have perfect reasons not to sin. In this way, free will might still exist, but the shared wisdom of God will simply outwit all desires, impulses, and needs to sin."
Faith

"After each of his books, the writer, for a while, feels once again that he can now die happy."
Writing
bottom of page