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"What a nickname. Teenagers can be so cruel. I'm embarrassed to be one of them."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
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"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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"I don't understand my sudden obsession with staring at her, but i can't seem to stop."
Emotions
"I need someone who is willing to watch me brave the ocean and then dare me not to drown."
Courage
"Naked truths aren't always pretty."
Truth
"Nothing in my life has ever felt so good, yet hurt so achingly bad."
Emotion
"Love is not found, love finds."
Love
"Ugh! I absolutely hate lust. Hate. It. Every fiber of my being knows he's not a good person, yet my body doesn't seem to give a shit at all."
Emotion
"I've never been so sure about the rest of my life than I am in this moment. This girl is the rest of my life."
Commitment
"But that's the thing about cancer. They call it the fight, as if the stronger ones win and the weaker ones lose, but that's not what cancer is at all. Cancer isn't one of the players in the game. Cancer is the game. It doesn't matter how much endurance you have. It doesn't matter how much you've practiced. Cancer is the be-all and end-all of the sport, and the only thing you can do is show up to the game with your jersey on. Because you never know... you might be forced to sit the bench for the entire game. You may not even be given the chance to compete."
Health
"This is why I choose not to have real-life girlfriends. I can't even pretend without starting a fight."
Conflict
"Sometimes not speaking says more than all the words in the world."
Communication
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