"You're not famous until my mother has heard of you."

Mother, Famous

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"You're not famous until my mother has heard of you."

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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

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"My mother and father were fantastic, very active. I find it difficult to say this, but I'm quite a loving person and I've always been loving to my friends. In the long run, that pays off. I'm very interested in other people, and if you are, they're interested in you."

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"But my mother loved The Elephant Man, and my father gave David Lynch a scholarship to study in Rome."

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"My daughter teases me once in a while saying, Remember when you used to be my mother and you had black hair?"

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"I wanted to become a kindergarten teacher like my mother."

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"Now I have children of my own. They ask their mother what will I be. Will I be handsome, will I be rich?"

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"I had this whole ritual with my mother making the bed with me inside it so I would be invisible."

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Explore more quotes by Jay Leno

"You're not famous until my mother has heard of you."

Mother

"I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder."

Work

"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."

People

"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular."

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"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."

Crime

"Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner."

Hope

"Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments."

Doctors

"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."

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"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

Time

"Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate."

War