top of page
.png){kind=small}
"Other useful commands to teach your dog are 'stay,' 'heel,' 'remove your snout from that person's groin,' 'stop humping the Barcalounger,' 'do not bark violently for two hours at inanimate objects such as a flowerpot,' ' do not eat poop,' and 'if you must eat poop, then at least refrain from licking my face afterward'."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Pets quotes
"Capo, my first golden retriever, so loved to swim she once jumped off a cliff to get into Lake Superior."
"I had mice that I kept as pets when I was very young, and I've always liked the way they look. Even rats. I'm not scared of them."
Pets,
"The love of one cat simply can't be compared with the love of another.."
"I have two Iceland horses, a very hairy dog called Looney, and a guinea pig."
"Other useful commands to teach your dog are 'stay,' 'heel,' 'remove your snout from that person's groin,' 'stop humping the Barcalounger,' 'do not bark violently for two hours at inanimate objects such as a flowerpot,' ' do not eat poop,' and 'if you must eat poop, then at least refrain from licking my face afterward'."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift."
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
"In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps."
"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."
"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."
bottom of page