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"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."
Personal Development
"How magical can a person be when she is blessed with infinite kindness?"
"A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life."
"How many homes are broken because of men and women who are unfaithful! God will not hold you guiltless! There is a day of reckoning. “Be sure your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23 ESV). They will find you out in your own family life here in your relationship with your mate, they will find you out in the life to come."
"Yes, in my life, since we must call it so, there were three things, the inability to speak, the inability to be silent, and solitude, that's what I've had to make the best of."
"If you are a path-creator, you don't need a path!"
"He said it was as if Tommy had produced a key which fit a cage in the back of his mind, a cage like his own cell. Only instead of holding a man, that cage held a tiger, and that tiger's name was Hope. Williams produced the key that unlocked the cage and the tiger was out, willy-nilly, to roam his brain."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
"A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."
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