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"Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding."
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"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating."
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Personal Development
"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."
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Personal Development
"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."
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"The tourist may complain of other tourists, but he would be lost without them."
Travel
"Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding."
Humor
"We cannot really love anyone with with whom we never laugh."
Love
"Edged tools are dangerous things to handle, and not infrequently do much hurt."
Hurt
"Democracy forever teases us with the contrast between its ideals and its realities, between its heroic possibilities and its sorry achievements."
Democracy
"Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about."
Conversation
"It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more."
Friendship
"People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization."
People
"Laughter springs from the lawless part of our nature."
Nature
"It is as impossible to withhold education from the receptive mind, as it is impossible to force it upon the unreasoning."
Education
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