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"A real job is a job you hate."
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"I hate a man who always says "yes" to me. When I say "no" I like a man who also says "no.""

"It was the hate of the used and tormented, who are the children of the used and tormented, and whose own children will be used and tormented."

"I hate Stanley Clark, but I have to admit he's playing Jazz whether I like it or not."
Explore more quotes by Bill Watterson

"Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables."

"Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.Calvin: Oh."

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

"So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it."
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