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Erma Bombeck

"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say 'Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it and yep they're still there. These are great dreams but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line to hold them up and say 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in."

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"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say 'Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it and yep they're still there. These are great dreams but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line to hold them up and say 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in."

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"We cannot reform without focusing on God and His principles."

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"Time can be used to convert anything."

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"People who have been initiated 'broke through in what felt like breaking down'."

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"Anyone who accepts Jesus into his heart and believes Him always becomes great."

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"Lay down your cynicism, and believe in the transformational power of love."

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"A rose's beautiful scent is extracted only when it is crushed."

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"Small caterpillars still become big butterflies."

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"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
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"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
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"Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial."
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"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
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"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
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"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
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