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"You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do."
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"A salary is, to a man's employer, what his wife's vagina is to his wife: a tool used to (1) reward; and (2) control him."

"Stay calm and exercise restrain during your most desperate moment or you shall desperately say what when your desperation is over, you shall come to a later realization of what you shouldn't have say and notice how silence could have been the best option to mere words!"
Explore more quotes by Rob Corddry


"I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid."


"I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one."


"I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day."


"Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously."
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