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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"When I attained a certain advanced intimacy with a man, and I don't just mean sex, I married him."
Sex
"Perhaps my problem in marriage-and it is the problem of many women-was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage."
Marriage
"Dirt makes a man look masculine. Let your hair blow in the wind, and all that. It's OK. All you have to do is look neat when you have to look neat."
Hair
"If I were to name my favorite pastime, I'd have to say talking about myself. I love it and I think most other people do too. We need, people like us, more listeners and less talkers."
Love
"I was born an only child in Vienna, Austria. My father found hours to sit by me by the library fire and tell fairy stories."
Father
"I've been an important star and lived a full life, yet I only hve three close friends. I guess that's all anyone can expect."
Life
"The ladder of success in Hollywood is usually a press agent, actor, director, producer, leading man; and you are a star if you sleep with each of them in that order. Crude, but true."
Success
"The ceremony took six minutes. The marriage lasted about the same amount of time though we didn't get a divorce for almost a year."
Marriage
"I know when I'm working I seldom get into trouble. My educated guess is that boredom has caused most of the problems with Hollywood celebrities."
Boredom
"The public pays and feels it is entitled to participate in the personal affairs of a performer."
Public
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