"I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill."

Funny, Being, Day

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"I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill."

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"Funny is an attitude."

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"Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously."

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"My heart is so light that it's amazing. I get to play all this grief, all this loss, all this disaster and chaos. It's hysterically funny. I am very light."

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"Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters."

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"I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny."

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"What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade."

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"I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down."

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"I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports."

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"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."

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"It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing."

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Explore more quotes by Charlie Sheen

"I try to be known more for my work than for anything else."

Work

"I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point, I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future."

Future

"I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero."

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"What you come to discover is, it isn't how you get there, it's that you get there. If that's what it took to get me where I'm at today, so be it."

Today

"Here's the good news. If I realize that I'm insane, then I'm okay with it. I'm not dangerous insane."

News

"I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers."

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"People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I'm gonna hang onto them and they're gonna fuel my attack."

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"Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh."

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"I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age."

Age

"I so desperately wanted to be Mr. Somebody. Instead, I was the little brother, included to a point."

Brother