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Dave Attell

"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"

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"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"

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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

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"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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A.E. Samaan

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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A.E. Samaan

"Stephen King in many respects is a wonderful writer. He has made a contribution. People in the future will be able to pick up Stephen King's books and learn a lot about who we were by reading those books."

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A.E. Samaan

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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A.E. Samaan

"Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them."

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"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin."
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"Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick."
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"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."
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Dave Attell
"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"
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