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"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."

W. C. Fields, American Comedian

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"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."

Exlpore more Liquor quotes

"Prohibition is better than no liquor at all."

Will Rogers, American Actor

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"They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately."

Bud Abbott, American Actor

"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."

W. C. Fields, American Comedian

Explore more quotes by W. C. Fields

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."

"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."

"Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil."

"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."

"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."

"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."

"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"

"Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against."

"Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it."

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