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"As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education."
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"Good God. Men everywhere."
"She was a most wonderful woman for prowling about the house. How she got from story to story was a mystery beyond solution. A lady so decorous in herself, and so highly connected, was not to be suspected of dropping over the banisters or sliding down them, yet her extraordinary facility of locomotion suggested the wild idea. Another noticeable circumstance in Mrs. Sparsit was, that she was never hurried. She would shoot with consummate velocity from the roof to the hall, yet would be in full possession of her breath and dignity on the moment of her arrival there. Neither was she ever seen by human vision to go at a great pace."
"Right now, it's hard to imagine that it is raining anywhere in the world."
"The surveillance, he thought, essentially should be maintained. And, if possible, by me. I should always be watching, watching and figuring out, even if I never do anything about what I see; even if I just sit there and observe silently, not seen: that is important, that I as a watcher of all that happens should be at my place."
"Men, she thought, were odd about their clothes: they liked to wear the same things until they became defeated and threadbare."
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
"You can't go by what a girl says, when she's giving you the devil for making a chump of yourself. It's like Shakespeare. Sounds well, but doesn't mean anything."
"It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time."
"The dragon, you know, hunkered in the village devouring maidens, heard the townsfolk cry 'Monster!' and looked behind him."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore
"I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck."
"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."
"Rivera rubbed his temples. 'Satan told you to do it?' he said wearily.'No.''Elvis?''I told you, it's supernatural."
"She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species."
"You cannot believe what you do not believe, Rumi siad. I am an Untouchable because my karma dictates it."
"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
"Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate."
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