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"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
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"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."

"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."

"The Rat Pack was the piece that really kicked me out of that little funk that I was in and then Ted called me up and asked me if I wanted to be the dad in Blow."

"But you know, my dad called me the laziest white kid he ever met. When I screamed back at him that he was putting down a race of people to call me lazy, his answer was that's not what he was doing, and that I was also the dumbest white kid he ever met."
Explore more quotes by Spike Milligan


"I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke."


"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."


"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
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