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"OVERREACTING" sounds like "OVARYACTING" Coincidence? I think NOT!!"
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"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."
"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."
"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."
"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."
"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."
"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."
Explore more quotes by Tanya Masse
"Don't waste any of your precious time or energy on negativity. There's no time for that nonsense."
"Your opinion should be based on what you see with your own eyes, hear with your own ears & feel with your own heart."
"Marry the person who gives you the same feeling you get when you take the very first sip of COFFEE in the morning!"
"Do not, for one more minute, spend your precious time and energy on or surround yourself with people who are less than you deserve."
"I don't care who you love, what you believe, how you look, where you're from or what you do. If you are a good hearted person, you're good in my books!"
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