top of page
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more People quotes

"I'm not sure whay I've been drawn to this subject, except that murder is a subject that has always drawn people for as long as people have been telling stories."

"If you ask a hundred people, they all give you different answers."

"You can be around 100 people and be completely alone. People don't realize what it's really like."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."

"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."

"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
bottom of page