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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
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"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
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Personal Development
"It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up."
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Personal Development
"It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too."
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Personal Development
"Of course, the wind sort of swept up and the music was flying around in mid air and they were trying to play off it. You had to be there. It was quite funny."
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Personal Development
"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
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Personal Development
"I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet."
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Personal Development
"I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny."
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Personal Development
"Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny."
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Personal Development
"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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Personal Development
"It's so funny whenever things come full circle."
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"Human rights is a universal standard. It is a component of every religion and every civilization."
Religion
"The condition of women in Islamic societies as a whole is also far from desirable. However, we should acknowledge that there are differences. In certain countries, the conditions are much better and in others much worse."
Woman
"Democracy doesn't recognize east or west; democracy is simply people's will. Therefore, I do not acknowledge that there are various models of democracy; there is just democracy itself."
People
"No American soldier should be allowed to set foot on Iranian soil, regardless of the criticism we have of the Iranian government."
Government
"What is important is that one utilizes one's intellect and not to be 100 percent sure about one's convictions. One should always leave room for doubt."
Doubt
"Lawyers have a dangerous job in Iran."
Job
"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
Funny
"My aim is to show that those governments that violate the rights of people by invoking the name of Islam have been misusing Islam."
People
"Sadly the job security of lawyers has been ruined, so they are less willing to defend political defendants."
Job
"I maintain that nothing useful and lasting can emerge from violence."
Nothing
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