"I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist."

Thought,

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"I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist."

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"Oh, gentlemen, perhaps I really regard myself as an intelligent man only because throughout my entire life I've never been able to start or finish anything. Granted, granted I'm a babbler, a harmless, irksome babbler, as we all are. But what's to be done if the sole and express purpose of every intelligent man is babble--that is, a deliberate pouring from empty into void."

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Explore more quotes by Dylan Moran

"I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s."

Famous

"I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist."

Thought

"Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine for a long time."

Time

"Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical."

Books

"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."

Jokes

"I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself."

Time

"I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate."

Woman

"One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing."

Books

"You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up."

Growing up

"The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty."

Life