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Andy Rooney

"I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points."

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"I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points."

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Donna Grant

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The value of time is immeasurable."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Here is one fact 1 minute to finish the class, 1 day to die, one day behind that fact, one day in that fact, one day before my birthday will come, one day before I will finish... (So far one day is popular... that's a fact called itself zipf law... )...Call it how you want, but for my it's zipfy law!"

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Andy Rooney
"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

Chance

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Andy Rooney
"Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens."

Happiness

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Andy Rooney
"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."

Truth

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Andy Rooney
"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."

Government

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Andy Rooney
"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."

Government

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Andy Rooney
"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."

People

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Andy Rooney
"As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book."

Humor

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Andy Rooney
"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."

People

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Andy Rooney
"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter."

Meaning

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Andy Rooney
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."

Computer

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