top of page
.png){kind=small}
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."
Standard
Customized
More
"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."
Computer
"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."
Fun
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything."
Sports
"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."
Car
"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."
Birthday
"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"
Cause
"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral."
Saying
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."
Letters
"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"
Ability
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
Time
More
"I like the storytelling and reading the letters, the long-distance dedications. Anytime in radio that you can reach somebody on an emotional level, you're really connecting."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like the storytelling and reading the letters, the long-distance dedications."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I received thousands of letters of support from all around the world, all because I wanted to go to school."
Author Name
Personal Development
"He who receives a great many letters demanding answer, sees himself as if engaged in a hopeless struggle of one man against the rest of the world."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My songs are just little letters to me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I get about 25 letters a month, and I answer every one of them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"At present I answer about 100 letters a month, and read 300 emails."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The letters from jail are always disconcerting."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wish there was something that - I get all those wonderful letters and wonderful acknowledgments, and I wish I could be more appreciative of what I do. But it's hard for me."
Author Name
Personal Development
bottom of page