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"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."
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"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."
Computer
"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."
Fun
"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"
Cause
"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral."
Saying
"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"
Ability
"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."
Time
"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."
Invention
"A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy."
People
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
Love
"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."
Letters
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"I like the storytelling and reading the letters, the long-distance dedications. Anytime in radio that you can reach somebody on an emotional level, you're really connecting."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I received thousands of letters of support from all around the world, all because I wanted to go to school."
Author Name
Personal Development
"He who receives a great many letters demanding answer, sees himself as if engaged in a hopeless struggle of one man against the rest of the world."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My songs are just little letters to me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I get about 25 letters a month, and I answer every one of them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"At present I answer about 100 letters a month, and read 300 emails."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The letters from jail are always disconcerting."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wish there was something that - I get all those wonderful letters and wonderful acknowledgments, and I wish I could be more appreciative of what I do. But it's hard for me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"After reviewing the polygraph charts in private, the polygraph examiner told me that I had passed and that he believed I had nothing to do with the anthrax letters."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have had nothing to do in any way, shape or form with the mailing of these anthrax letters, and it is extremely wrong for anyone to contend or suggest that I have."
Author Name
Personal Development
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