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"Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west.'The sun rises in the east, dickhead.'Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west."
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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."
"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."
"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."
"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."
"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."
Explore more quotes by Simone Elkeles
"Dont ruin my balls!' She laughs as the words leave her mouth.Better yours than mine, chica.' I toss the dough balls at her, one by one, until I've got none left."
"Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You'll definitely be happier."
"Tofu tacos are not Mexican. I think putting tofu on anything and calling it Mexican is an insult to my people."
"Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!"
"Just so you know, I'm goin' to enlist.'I'm proud of you. But why?I groan against the pain but manage to give him a half smile. 'I want to make sure Kiara's got a boyfriend who has more to offer than a hot bod and a face that could make angels weep."
"I like that girl more than I can remember likin' anything in my life. I'm not about to give her up. I'll start carin' about what other people think when I'm six feet under."
"Alex and Carlos-the tag team from hell. They're the last people I need shit from right now. If they decide to trail me, too, I'll have an entire entourage.'I'm fine.'Then sit up and talk to us.'Okay, in that case I'm not fine. Go away. I moan. 'Unless you want me to puke all over you."
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