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"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
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"I still don't know anything about drugs, or who takes them, or what happens."
"I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."
"I don't have to say 'Rap it up' every two seconds, or 'Don't do drugs' every two seconds. They know they're not supposed to use drugs, and they know they're supposed to put a condom on."
"In medicine, as in statecraft and propaganda, words are sometimes the most powerful drugs we can use."
"I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band."
"If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
"When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain."
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
"Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window."
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