"I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof."

Money, Church, First

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"I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof."

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Explore more quotes by Allan Carr

"I didn't really want to be a comedian."

Want

"If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial."

Attitude

"We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle."

Battle

"I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people."

People

"I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself."

Celebrity

"I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish."

Hate

"I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl."

Time

"You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home."

Home

"I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh."

People

"I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me."

Love