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"I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof."
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"I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people."
People
"I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof."
Money
"I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration."
Frustration
"I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved."
Hate
"A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere."
Blame
"You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home."
Home
"I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish."
Hate
"I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them."
Old
"We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle."
Battle
"I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself."
Celebrity
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"No money is better spent than what is laid out for domestic satisfaction."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To make dollars from cents you have to have sense."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Because people have no thoughts to deal in, they deal cards, and try and win one another's money. Idiots!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"See money " currency - as the flow of energy and giving that cycles between you, others and me. Now let it flow kindly, fairly and mindfully."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money should be ones demand and not command, one should not become a slave of Money because we made money to help us trade and not to make us, we're already made even without money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money, money, all is money! Could you write even a penny novelette without money to put heart into you? Invention, energy, wit, style, charm--they've all got to be paid for in hard cash."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money is the last enemy that shall never be subdued. While there is flesh there is money or the want of money, but money is always on the brain so long as there is a brain in reasonable order."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Author Name
Personal Development
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