"People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone."

Humor, Inheritance, Family, Identity

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"People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Life, Daily, Routine

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power, Today

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

Humor, Logic, Reason, Games

"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Love, Lust, Language, Truth

"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

Humor, Perception, Reality, Imagination

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Personality, Identity, Education

Explore more quotes by Ana Claudia Antunes

"A brainstorm about the difference between rain and brain: a b, although both are juicy like water... but if it rained in the brain would that mean that ocurred a brainwash? and if so what would be the cure for that?? That's rough for sure. But if the rain plays mainly in the land would it land instead of fail to fall?? What's the meaning of it all? i'm a brainiac with some brainy thoughts.."

Creativity

"Happiness lies even in ltiny ittle butterflies. You just have to open up your eyes and see where beauty flies to beautify your world lenghtwise."

Positivity

"Never say never or it becomes a vice, and there you have it, you just did it twice."

Advice

"Ballet shoes... I cannot play with them like they're toys. But when the music is playing they get deep on my toes."

Art

"To unlock the writer's block is to keep writing until you can unknot the "not". If you cannot, then put a can in the plot and unwrap it a lot!"

Art

"A dessert to a deserter in the desert burst, "You trust your thirst. And you are too hot! You scream for ice cream. And believe it or not, I may not be your first. But I might be your lust! Give it a shot..."

Pleasure

"Happiness lies even in little tiny butterflies. You just have to cpen up your eyes and see where beauty flies to beautify your world lenghtwise."

Mindfulness

"What the famous big blue Boy Scout told to a green Kryptonite? What?? YOU rock!"

Humor

"Wake every morning with the same feeling. Live up high and fly on top of the ceiling. I just know that I'm on my way. It doesn't matter to me if I'm chasing the clouds away. North or South, East or West I live my life to the fullest."

Life

"Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread."

Humor