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William Temple

"The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies."

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"The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies."

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Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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Donna Grant

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

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Donna Grant

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

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Donna Grant

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

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Donna Grant

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."

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Donna Grant

"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."

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Donna Grant

"Alas poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest of most excellent fancy."

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Donna Grant

"Being called "dangerous" by a cat could mean a great many things, but it was generally delivered as something of a compliment."

Explore more quotes by William Temple

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William Temple
"The problem of evil... Why does God permit it? Or, if God is omnipotent, in which case permission and creation are the same, why did God create it?"
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William Temple
"The most influential of all educational factors is the conversation in a child's home."
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William Temple
"The best rules to form a young man, are, to talk little, to hear much, to reflect alone upon what has passed in company, to distrust one's own opinions, and value others that deserve it."
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William Temple
"I have always looked upon alchemy in natural philosophy to be like enthusiasm in divinity, and to have troubled the world much to the same purpose."
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William Temple
"Authority is by nothing so much strengthened and confirmed as by custom; for no man easily distrusts the things which he and all men have been always bred up to."
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William Temple
"Our present time is indeed a criticizing and critical time, hovering between the wish, and the inability to believe. Our complaints are like arrows shot up into the air at no target: and with no purpose they only fall back upon our own heads and destroy ourselves."
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William Temple
"The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies."
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William Temple
"When all is done, human life is, at the greatest and the best, but like a froward child, that must be played with and humored a little to keep it quiet till it falls asleep, and then the care is over."
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William Temple
"Books, like proverbs, receive their chief value from the stamp and esteem of ages through which they passed."
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William Temple
"The first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit."
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