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Johnny Carson

"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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A.E. Samaan

"Apparently some people (who don't know history) seem to think that marriage 'always has been' exclusively between males and females - and that this modern inequality somehow justifies the enforced continuation of this inequality."

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A.E. Samaan

"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."

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A.E. Samaan

"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."

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A.E. Samaan

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."

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A.E. Samaan

"Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret."

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A.E. Samaan

"When you marry you marry the known and unknown man or woman."

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A.E. Samaan

"That is why I fought against abortion and that is why if I were still in the Senate I would be doing everything I could to defend the sanctity of marriage."

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A.E. Samaan

"I do not support a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage."

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A.E. Samaan

"Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person."

Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
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Johnny Carson
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
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Johnny Carson
"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?""
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Johnny Carson
"The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money."
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Johnny Carson
"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."
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Johnny Carson
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."
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Johnny Carson
"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."
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Johnny Carson
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
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Johnny Carson
"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."
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Johnny Carson
"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
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