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Johnny Carson

"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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Donna Grant

"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."

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Donna Grant

"Marriage is a million piece puzzle, a pristine and exciting pursuit at the beginning that gradually becomes a daunting task, usually more challenging than anticipated. It is only those truly committed to solving that puzzle who witness in the end the miraculous outcome of every tiny piece laid out and pressed together in an inspiring and envious creation-a treasure only time, resoluteness, and perseverance could create."

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Donna Grant

"Any good marriage is secret territory, a necessary white space on society's map. What others don't know about it is what makes it yours."

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Donna Grant

"Never marry when under the guise you need to 'see if it'll work', but rather marry because in your mind you want to make it work."

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Donna Grant

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."

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Donna Grant

"Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or of conquest."

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Donna Grant

"I came into marriage with love but when I got there she refused the dictatorship and fled away, I and my wife are looking for her. Anyone who finds her please contact us. We swear not to harm her again."

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Donna Grant

"You do not marry a woman, but you marry your imagination of her."

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Donna Grant

"A healthy marriage acts as the vessel of wellbeing and stability for both partners as well as the children."

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Donna Grant

"Marriage would change hardly anything between us, except that we would end our arguments in a much more satisfying way. And of course I would have extensive legal rights over your body, your property, and all your individual freedoms, but I don't see what's so alarming about that."

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Johnny Carson
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."

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"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."

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"Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?""

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"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day."

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"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."

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Johnny Carson
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."

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"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

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Johnny Carson
"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."

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Johnny Carson
"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."

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