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Johnny Carson

"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."

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A.E. Samaan

"Apparently some people (who don't know history) seem to think that marriage 'always has been' exclusively between males and females - and that this modern inequality somehow justifies the enforced continuation of this inequality."

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A.E. Samaan

"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."

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A.E. Samaan

"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."

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A.E. Samaan

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."

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A.E. Samaan

"Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret."

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A.E. Samaan

"When you marry you marry the known and unknown man or woman."

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A.E. Samaan

"That is why I fought against abortion and that is why if I were still in the Senate I would be doing everything I could to defend the sanctity of marriage."

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A.E. Samaan

"I do not support a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage."

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A.E. Samaan

"Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person."

Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."
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Johnny Carson
"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
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Johnny Carson
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
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Johnny Carson
"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved."
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Johnny Carson
"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
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Johnny Carson
"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."
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Johnny Carson
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
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Johnny Carson
"We're more effective than birth control pills."
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Johnny Carson
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
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Johnny Carson
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
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