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Alice B. Toklas

"This has been a most wonderful evening. Gertrude has said things tonight it will take her 10 years to understand."

Alice B. Toklas, American Editor
Humor, Evening, Will, Years
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"This has been a most wonderful evening. Gertrude has said things tonight it will take her 10 years to understand."

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Amber Hurdle

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author
Humor, Social, Truth, Life
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Amber Hurdle

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist
Humor, Philosophy, Truth, Hurt, Irony
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Amber Hurdle

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist
Humor, Culture, Observation, Learning
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Amber Hurdle

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist
Humor, Wealth, Excess, Irony, Consumption
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Amber Hurdle

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

Kiersten White, American Author
Humor, Fiction, Creativity, Observation
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Amber Hurdle

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Albert Einstein, German Scientist
Humor, Contempt, Music, Order
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Amber Hurdle

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

Sara Sheridan, Scottish Author
Humor, Writing, Family, Books
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Amber Hurdle

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist
Humor, Sarcasm, Career, Personality
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Amber Hurdle

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

Shannon A. Thompson, American Author
Humor, Perception, Confusion, Identity, Awareness
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Amber Hurdle

"Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books."

Berkeley Breathed, American Cartoonist
Humor, Negative, Books, Children

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Alice B. Toklas
"What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey or the guinea hen."
Individuality
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Alice B. Toklas
"This has been a most wonderful evening. Gertrude has said things tonight it will take her 10 years to understand."
Humor
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