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"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."
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"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What is now proved was once only imagined."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had redesigned my entire amplifier system for this tour because airlines are very strict now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It will be a difficult couple of days. It's difficult now and it will be difficult tomorrow."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is correct that I overlooked the contamination of the party, not just now but also in the past."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So now what happens is the cameras follow me around and capture exactly what I've been doing since I was a boy. Only now we have a team of, you know, like 73 of us, and it's gone beyond that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I were to write Web now, it would be a much, much darker book."
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Personal Development
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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
Work
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
Children
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."
People
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
Love
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."
Dogs
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
Life
"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."
Funny
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
Fun
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"
Friendship
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