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"For months in the fall of 2001, our highways looked like a county fair on wheels. 'Look out, Al-Qaeda---patriot on board!' I once saw a guy with five flags tell a guy with four flags to go back to Afghanistan."
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"We...advance toward a state of society in which not only each man but every impulse in each man claims carte blanche."
"The action or inaction of any government does not negate the Personal Responsibility of the citizens."
"The journey of every ignorant and obedient society always ends up in the same place: In the desert!"
"The only soap of a dirty society is the clean men, only the clean can wash the grimy!"
"What the new government of Nigeria and other African governments must do, is to start a massive reorientation campaign in the culture of the dignity of labour."
"To Have Thousands Transformed In The Society Is To Lack Unity."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."
"Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window."
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
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