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"I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison."
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"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."

"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."

"More and more couples are having this negotiation or discussion, but I'm still amazed at the number who aren't and where the cultural norm sort of kicks in and they just assume that mom's got to be the one who stays home, not dad."

"It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father."

"Whenever I fail as a father or husband... a toy and a diamond always works."
Explore more quotes by W. C. Fields

"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life."
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