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Red Skelton

"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."

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"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."

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"The doctrine that all men are, in any sense, or have been, at any time, free and equal, is an utterly baseless fiction."

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"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men."

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"Wine hath drowned more men than the sea."

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"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em."

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"I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all."

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"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

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Asa Don Brown

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

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"It is the dissimilarities and inequalities among men which give rise to the notion of honor; as such differences become less, it grows feeble; and when they disappear, it will vanish too."

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Asa Don Brown

"Strong women only marry weak men."

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"People talk about the courage of condemned men walking to the place of execution: sometimes it needs as much courage to walk with any kind of bearing towards another person's habitual misery."

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Red Skelton
"I left home because I was hungry."
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Red Skelton
"Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime."
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Red Skelton
"Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations."
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Red Skelton
"If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
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Red Skelton
"Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics."
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Red Skelton
"God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being."
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Red Skelton
"His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad."
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Red Skelton
"No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds."
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Red Skelton
"Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles."
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Red Skelton
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."
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