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"If it had been my decision, you would still be sleeping, and I would be hoping every hour of every night you lived was filled with the foulest of dreams.'My only nightmare in this moment is the quality of the mattress you saw fit to place me on, said Simon. 'Really, brother, have you never heard of lumbar support?"
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"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
Explore more quotes by Seanan McGuire
"And you shouldn't believe all the press about Ouija boards. They can't be used in an exorcism. Trivial Pursuit can, but that's another story."
"I am so tired of this gothic crap, I muttered. 'Just once, I want to meet the villain in a cheerful, brightly lit room. Possibly one with kittens."
"Hey!' I turned, crossing my arms and glaring. 'I was talking to him!'Tybalt eyed me with amusement, which just made me glare harder. 'No, you were inciting him to stab you with a toothpick. Again, the difference is small, but I think it matters."
"Doors opened everywhere. Maybe one day, the children of this world who had gone to that world to save themselves would see a door that didn't fit right with the walls around it, something with a doorknob made of a moon, or a knocker that winked. Maybe they could still go home."
"I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches."
"The moon is the friendliest of the celestial bodies, after all, glowing warm and white and welcoming, like a friend who wants only to know that all of us are safe in our narrow worlds, our narrow yards, our narrow, well-considered lives. The moon worries. We may not know how we know that, but we know it all the same: that the moon watches, and the moon worries, and the moon will always love us, no matter what."
"Hello? I peered into the shadows.Two green circles flashed in the dark. I yelped, jumping backward and pressing myself against the wall.'And may I wish a very good morning to you, too, October. The voice was amused, underscored by a chuckle like thick cream. 'What happened? Did the prettiest little princess miss her carriage home?"
"Now, if you will excuse me, a dead woman is trying to convince me to drink something that comes in layers."
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