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"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."
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"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."
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Personal Development
"I may neither choose who I would, nor refuse who I dislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbed by the will of a dead father."
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Personal Development
"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."
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Personal Development
"Dad made it to Gold Shield Detective, so he always busted Robin, my oldest brother, and me. Always got caught, whatever we were doing."
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Personal Development
"My father, who had previously been a civil engineer, died in the great influenza epidemic of 1918."
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Personal Development
"I learned a lot in those first years in Miami, while struggling just for survival, by observing my father's fortitude."
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Personal Development
"What I do now is all my dad's fault, because he bought me a guitar as a boy, for no apparent reason."
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Personal Development
"The most significant piece of advice my father gave me early on about acting was, don't get caught acting. Really believe in what you're doing and then commit to it. Even if it feels uncomfortable, even if you feel that you're gonna look like an ass. It's all acting, but find the truth in a moment as opposed to just pretending you have and rather than trying to act your way out of it."
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Personal Development
"I would ask my dad what he did, and he'd say, 'I listen to people's problems.' In some way what he did for a living is in my genes."
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Personal Development
"My dad? He died when I was 19, which is a bad time for your dad to die, because there's an awful lot of things you have to resolve with your parents past your teens if you've been a difficult teenager."
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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
Family
"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
Home
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
Present
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
People
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President
"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."
Moon
"There's no down time any more."
Time
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
People
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
People
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