"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."

Father, Discovery

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"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."

Exlpore more Father quotes

"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."

Pierre Corneille, French Dramatist

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"I used to annoy my father by telling him how much I felt luck was with me."

Gene Tierney, American Actress

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"More and more couples are having this negotiation or discussion, but I'm still amazed at the number who aren't and where the cultural norm sort of kicks in and they just assume that mom's got to be the one who stays home, not dad."

James Levine, American Musician

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"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

Emo Philips, American Comedian

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"I'm just as insufferable and useless as every other dad is. The dynamic never changes, no matter what you do for a living."

Glenn Frey, American Musician

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"As a brother and sister, our tastes were pretty different growing up. He liked a lot of early hip hop. My dad didn't understand it and would try to talk him out of it."

Taryn Manning, American Actress

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"My father was a soil scientist with the Geological Survey."

Jim Fowler, American Scientist

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"My grandfather, on my father's side, helped to draft one of the first constitutions of China. He was a fairly well-known scholar."

Maya Lin, American Architect

Father, Draft, First

"Not at all, I wanted to go into medicine. I took science in college. But my dad was a Producer - Director in Kannada films, and someone saw me, and one thing led to another."

Soundarya, Indian Actress

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"Usually a family is led through the mom or the dad and their career and for the family to be led by my career, even though God has led it, could be a lot of pressure."

Stacie Orrico, American Musician

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Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."

Family

"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."

Father

"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."

People

"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."

Baby

"I really don't require a whole lot in life."

Life

"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."

Television

"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."

Moon

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"

Family

"I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away."

Day

"You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it."

Values