"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."

Father, Discovery

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"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."

Exlpore more Father quotes

"To he who avenges a father, nothing is impossible."

Pierre Corneille, French Dramatist

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"I am blessed to have Mom and Dad."

Kevin Eubanks, American Musician

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"Father is Everyone's First Preceptor.Happy Father's Day!"

Mohith Agadi, Indian Poet

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"I learned a lot in those first years in Miami, while struggling just for survival, by observing my father's fortitude."

Desi Arnaz, American Actor

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"When dad told me Mr Steptoe had passed away, I broke down."

Louise Brown, English Celebrity

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"My Dad was so open creatively that I was off in search of black turtleneck bathing suits with long sleeves."

Moon Unit Zappa, American Musician

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"Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children."

Bill Cosby, American Comedian

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"My mom's been married three times; my dad has been married a lot. I didn't really see my dad that much."

Skeet Ulrich, American Actor

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"My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem."

Gwyneth Paltrow, American Actress

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"It's easy for me to say that now, now I'm a father, I've got a four-and-a-half year old boy, I'm a different person. Well, I'm still the same person, but I'm different."

Alan Vega, American Musician

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Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

"Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on."

Love

"I know God is real."

God

"The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him."

Quality

"I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie."

Daughter

"You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education."

Education

"You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it."

Values

"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."

Family

"There's no down time any more."

Time

"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."

Goal

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"

Family