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"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
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"Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size."
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Personal Development
"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
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Personal Development
"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"
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Personal Development
"When you're lost in space, it's time to buy some new furniture!"
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Personal Development
"If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd."
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Personal Development
"For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does of his dinner."
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"It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad."
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"You won't enjoy it," sighed Crowley. "It's been in the car for more than a fortnight." A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. "I don't recognize this," he said. "What is it?" "It's Tchaikovsky's 'Another One Bites the Dust'," said Crowley, closing his eyes as they went through Slough. To while away the time as they crossed the sleeping Chilterns, they also listened to William Byrd's "We Are the Champions" and Beethoven's "I Want To Break Free." Neither were as good as Vaughan Williams's "Fat-Bottomed Girls."
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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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"Texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?"
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"Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer has superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough."
Diplomacy
"Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail. Without it, nothing can succeed."
Positive
"Every man over forty is responsible for his face."
Aging
"Determine that the thing can and shall be done and then... find the way."
Motivation
"It will not do to investigate the subject of religion too closely, as it is apt to lead to infidelity."
Religion
"You can have no oath registered in heaven to destroy the Government while I shall have the most solemn one to "preserve protect and defend" it."
Justice
"I will prepare and some day my chance will come."
Change
"If people see the Capitol going on, it is a sign we intend the Union shall go on."
Politics
"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Happiness
"I am a slow walker, but I never walk back."
Persistence
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