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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"I laugh for sheer medicinal purposes, because I feel I might die otherwise."

"Extolling the virtues of conservation of energy, Churchill advised, "Never stand when you can sit, and never sit when you can lie down."

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

"Did you talk to him about it?""Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy.""Maydar?""As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure."
Explore more quotes by Auliq Ice

"Still, pain hurts. And most of us find it difficult, to say the least, to find gratitude in our hearts for the worst things in life."

"If you can find a cause that touches your soul it will make you a better person, it will show you the power of helping others and ultimately the biggest winner is us. Giving to others helps us to grow, to have a different outlook in life, to appreciate what we have and to be more positive."

"All humans are carrying invisible torchlights directing us to our destinies called our beliefs."

"Gratitude is a miracle of its own recognition. It brings out a sense of appreciation and sincerity of a being."

"If you compose your dreams into a music, then your dreams will become the music you will always love to sing."

"Making a lifestyle change is challenging, especially when you want to transform many things at once, you better start with one, when you see the change you'll have an automatic motivation entering into your life."
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