top of page
.png){kind=small}
Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"
"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."
"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
"Ah, hell.His peripheral vision was working far too well tonight.His slut of a cousin, his cocksucking, suit-wearing, Montblanc-up-the-ass cousin Saxton the Magnificent, was standing next to the queen, looking like a combination of Cary Grant and some model in a goddamn cologne ad.Not that Qhuinn was bitter.Because the guy was sharing Blay's bed.Nah.Nope. Not at all.The Cocksucker-With a wince, he thought maybe he should switch that insult to something a little farther away from what the two of them ...God, he couldn't even go there. Not if he wanted to breathe."
"You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt."
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."
"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."
Explore more quotes by Rebecca McNutt
"Amanda, you finally decided to answer the phone, her mom exclaimed after picking up at the first ring. "Where've you been, what've you been up to?"Mom, do you remember when I was a kid, I had a friend, he was a Personification of the Sydney Tar Ponds, sort of my imaginary friend? Mandy asked."No, what in the name of god are you on about? her mom sighed in exasperation."Remember? Only I could see him, but he was real and he was my best friend when I was eighteen? Mandy insisted."No, I don't remember Alecto Sydney Steele at all, said her mom all too quickly."
“Mandy, I hardly think this was appropriate, not after—you know—after the funeral. We haven't had the money for any of your weird little games, and I was hoping you'd be more mature now that Jud's gone,” her father had added disappointedly.
“How much'd that cake cost you?”
“It's paid for,” Mandy had argued, but her voice had sounded tiny in the harbour wind. “I used the cash from my summer job at Frenchy's last year, and I—it was my birthday, Dad!”
“You can't even be normal about this one thing, can you?” her father had complained.
Mandy hadn't cried; she'd only stared back knowingly, her voice shaky. “I'm normal.”
"The hardest part of being a Canadian kid is having to color in Nunavut with a crayon in school, hell on earth."
"Alecto Sydney Steele, an entity of few words whom society managed to overlook as it rapidly dove into the 21st century. Everything about him, his interests, his friends, his own life, was constantly in danger of becoming an anachronism. And caught up in that mess was Mearth, not exactly evil in nature but just misunderstood. A very long time ago Alecto's life had been all incandescent sparkles and Kodachrome, but that was before the environmental movement changed Mearth from a perfectly nice and kind guardian, to a deranged and malevolent monster."
"Why do they lie? she asked herself aloud. "They say time makes losing someone you loved easier to deal with, but it only makes it worse."
"On Wall Street, Clarence was a diamond in a sea of glass, never greedy, never an ambulance-chaser, never the kind of person who deserved to die in the way that he did."
"Alecto— what do you think would happen if people found out about you? Your abilities, your life, Mearth's super 8 films, those powers of yours— how would they react?" I don't know, said Alecto, "but ordinary people like a show, especially when it's a disturbing one. They enjoy seeing misery— probably because it allows them to pretend that they themselves are not so miserable, too. Also, they would probably find out about you, how you know about Personifications, how you saw the films— they would put us in cages and throw peanuts at us, I guess." All joking aside, Alecto.—"Who is joking, Mandy Valems?"
bottom of page