"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People,

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"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

Dream, Dreams

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."

Soccer,

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

Wrong,

"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

Gambling, Play

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

Tennis,

"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

People,

Exlpore more People quotes

"The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German Poet

People, Present

"People can have many different kinds of pleasure. The real one is that for which they will forsake the others."

Marcel Proust, French Author

People, Pleasure, Will

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

People, Man, Respect

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

Victor Hugo, French Author

People, Kings

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

Samuel Johnson, English Author

People, Superiority

"Other people's beliefs may be myths, but not mine."

Mason Cooley, American Writer

People, Beliefs, May, Myths

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Goodness

"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Nothing

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

Jane Austen, British Writer

People, Trouble, Want

"We don't get to know people when they come to us; we must go to them to find out what they are like."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German Poet

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Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."

"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too."

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"

"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."

Exlpore more People quotes

"The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace."

"People can have many different kinds of pleasure. The real one is that for which they will forsake the others."

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"Other people's beliefs may be myths, but not mine."

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

"We don't get to know people when they come to us; we must go to them to find out what they are like."