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"All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard."
Humor
"For me the experience of writing is really an experience of losing control. I think it's very much like dreaming or like surfing. You go out there and wait for a wave, and when it comes it takes you somewhere and you don't know where it'll go."
Creativity
"Better not to invent her in her absence. Better to wait until she's actually here. Then he can make her up as she goes along."
Imagination
"We yearned for the future. How did we learn it, that talent for insatiability?"
Hope
"A writer's age at the time of a work's composition is never irrelevant."
Creativity
"This form of love is like the painof childbirth: so intenseit's hard to remember afterwards."
Love
"How did the war creep up? How did it gather itself together? What was it made from? What secrets, lies, betrayals? What loves and hatreds? What sums of money, what metals?"
Conflict
"Could it be he was feeling a certain nostalgia for the war, despite its stench and meaningless carnage? For that questionless life of instinct?"
Emotion
"Neither of us says the word love, not once. It would be tempting fate; it would be romance, bad luck."
Emotion
"Gardening is not a rational act."
Gardening
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