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Rita Rudner

"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

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"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

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Amber Hurdle

"Children dwell in their dreams. Get them the wings and they'll fly."

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Amber Hurdle

"Our children's children will hear a good story."

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Amber Hurdle

"Gift the children corruption free nation. Happy Children's day."

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Amber Hurdle

"The children of the revolution are always ungrateful, and the revolution must be grateful that it is so."

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Amber Hurdle

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

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Amber Hurdle

"You know, my children go to a local, local catholic school just down the road."

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Amber Hurdle

"The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another."

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Amber Hurdle

"Find a good teacher, as I found for my sons. I feel the worst thing you can do is to try and teach your own children yourself, because there is a natural rebellion that occurs."

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Amber Hurdle

"It eats you up. It eats you up. And you have to - I had a lot of help. I had a lot of therapy. And I was able to - because it was hard, you know, to - you can't just lay it on friends and children."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."

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Rita Rudner
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
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"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
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Rita Rudner
"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
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Rita Rudner
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
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Rita Rudner
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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Rita Rudner
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
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Rita Rudner
"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
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