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Rita Rudner

"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

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"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

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Donna Grant

"Still, most of those effects occur in the context of harmless play and it is patently obvious that children are not normally turned into aggressive little monsters by TV or video games, since most children do not become aggressive little monsters."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Cullen is up there killing my children. He's killing everyone."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart " more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi " more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"One important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Low-key, accepting parents are the ones whose children keep talking."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"There is no overt rivalry among our children."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Measures of self-government and a school council, especially for such young children, were a great innovation."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"We want better reasons for having children than not knowing how to prevent them."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"My biggest regret is that I didn't teach my two children how to speak Spanish."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

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Personal Development

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Rita Rudner
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"

Children

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Rita Rudner
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

People

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Rita Rudner
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life

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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life

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Rita Rudner
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Marriage

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Rita Rudner
"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."

Mother

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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

Age

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Rita Rudner
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."

Time

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Rita Rudner
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."

Old

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Rita Rudner
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."

Boyfriend

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