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Rita Rudner

"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

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"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

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Akiroq Brost

"More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart " more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi " more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton."

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Akiroq Brost

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

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Akiroq Brost

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

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Akiroq Brost

"Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven."

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Akiroq Brost

"Sanctions always hurt the poor, the weak, the children."

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Akiroq Brost

"As we read the school reports on our children, we realize a sense of relief that can rise to delight that thank Heaven nobody is reporting in this fashion on us."

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Akiroq Brost

"I do very well three things: my job, stupidities and children."

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Akiroq Brost

"The original Mickey Mouse Club, established in the '30s, was designed to attract children to movie theaters."

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Akiroq Brost

"Sometimes with my children, I remember exactly how I felt as the child in this situation, not just how it feels to be me."

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Akiroq Brost

"Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now?"

Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
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Rita Rudner
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
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Rita Rudner
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
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Rita Rudner
"We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet."
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Rita Rudner
"My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping."
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Rita Rudner
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."
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Rita Rudner
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
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Rita Rudner
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
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