"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected."

Humor, Politics, Observation, Truth

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"The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Humor, Love, Insanity, Marriage

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far."

Sound

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

Day

"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

People

"You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way."

War

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

Man

"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?""

Country

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

Ignorance

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Explore more quotes by Will Rogers

"Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far."

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

"One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide."

"It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts."

"Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious."

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way."

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

"The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?""

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."