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Exlpore more Day quotes
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day,
"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."
"A cold atheistical materialism is the tendency of the so-called material philosophy of the present day."
"The Navy has changed a great deal. Not that the officers of my day were bad, because I served under a lot of good officers, believe me. But there were a few bad ones, too."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
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