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Emo Philips

"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."

Day,
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"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is a Modern day, and these times need Modern solutions to Modern problems."

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Amber Hurdle

"I can be pretty nasty. Not 'mean' nasty, but nasty by your parents' standards. But not by my parents' standards, because my parents were nasty for their day."

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Amber Hurdle

"As a student in London, I had seen so many shows, so many plays and had seen so many greats of the day."

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Amber Hurdle

"Every single day of making a movie is going to bring new problems."

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Amber Hurdle

"New-Year's Day arriving, and the ministers, to whom I wrote, remaining silent, I consider their silence as evidence, that they cannot prove what I said not to be from the Lord, and have therefore published as I was directed."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm supposed to say, Bill O'Reilly, that's immoral - click - and then walk back in and book his A block the next day and have a fine day and everything be kosher? I don't think so."

Day,
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Amber Hurdle

"I worked at Mark Foy's during the day and studied drama at night."

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Amber Hurdle

"Count no day lost in which you waited your turn, took only your share and sought advantage over no one."

Day,
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Amber Hurdle

"It's an ordinary day for Brian. Like, he died every day, you know."

Day,
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Amber Hurdle

"Well, for the My Generation album, there was nothing to be nervous about in them days. We used to take every day as it came. Every day was just a gig and I think we did the recording between gigs literally."

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Emo Philips
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
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Emo Philips
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
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Emo Philips
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
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Emo Philips
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
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Emo Philips
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
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Emo Philips
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
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Emo Philips
"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."
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Emo Philips
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
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Emo Philips
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
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Emo Philips
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
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