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"I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it."
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"You wiggle to the left, you wiggle to the right, you do the Ooby Dooby with all your might."

"Also, I just think of Draco and he gets me in the right mood. He just keeps getting worse and worse."

"I never went to concerts when I was a kid, so I never knew if what I was doing onstage was right."

"We fully believed, so soon as we saw that woman's suffrage was right, every one would soon see the same thing, and that in a year or two, at farthest, it would be granted."

"The river is constantly turning and bending and you never know where it's going to go and where you'll wind up. Following the bend in the river and staying on your own path means that you are on the right track. Don't let anyone deter you from that."

"I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington."

"The shock of unemployment becomes a pathology in its own right."
Explore more quotes by Spike Milligan


"I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke."


"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."


"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
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