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Charles Dickens

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

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"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

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Amber Hurdle

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

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Amber Hurdle

"They are fond of fun and therefore witty, wit being well-bred insolence."

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Amber Hurdle

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

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Amber Hurdle

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

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Amber Hurdle

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

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Amber Hurdle

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

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Amber Hurdle

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

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Amber Hurdle

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

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Charles Dickens
"On this matter I'm inclined to agree with the French, who gaze upon any personal dietary prohibition as bad manners."
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"Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes of which all men have some."
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"It is because I think so much of warm and sensitive hearts, that I would spare them from being wounded."
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"Ah me!" said he, "what might have been is not what is!"
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
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"My sorrow may bear involuntary witness against you at the judgement Throne; but my angry thoughts or my reproaches never will, I know!"
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Charles Dickens
"His face, though lined, bore few traces of anxiety. But, perhaps the confidential bachelor clerks in Tellson's Bank were principally occupied with the cares of other people; and perhaps second-hand cares, like second-hand clothes, come easily off and on."
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Charles Dickens
"If the world go wrong, it was, in some off-hand manner, never meant to go right."
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"Who am I, for God's sake, that I should be kind!"
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Charles Dickens
"Your tale is of the longest," observed Monks, moving restlessly in his chair.It is a true tale of grief and trial, and sorrow, young man," returned Mr. Brownlow, "and such tales usually are; if it were one of unmixed joy and happiness, it would be very brief."
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