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"I've got a nice little crafty deal with the people in Barbados; 10 days out there teaching the locals how to play darts for an hour a day. Get paid for that as well."
People
"I love cheese and biscuits, the stronger the better."
Love
"It's all right buying all these good players but they've got to gel, and that takes time."
Time
"I remember when we were in the World Cup in Australia and I had to win the singles against Tony Payne, best of seven legs, to win it. I was 2-0 down but ended up beating him 4-2."
World
"All this cuddling and kissing on stage these days, well it's all right in football when someone scores a goal, but not when you're playing darts."
Goal
"I play a lot of charity golf mainly. I'm a bandit 18 if I play two or three times a week."
Charity
"My dad was an Arsenal supporter and he used to take me there, but I've always been Chelsea."
Father
"Trouble is, I don't get to play a lot at the moment because I've just signed a contract where I've got to do 200 shows a year in pubs, so the golf's fallen away a bit."
Golf
"I don't read books."
Books
"The Crafty Cockney had a picture of the owner dressed up as a copper, so I brought it home, wore it on TV and the name just stuck."
Home
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"Almost a quarter of our planet is a single mountain range and we didn't enter it until after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went to the moon. So we went to the moon, played golf up there, before we went to the largest feature on our own planet."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Playing golf is like learning a foreign language."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Golf courses sell real estate and that's why they're built."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Anybody who plays golf will tell you that you play against yourself."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Golf seems to be an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dog's out."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I know bugger all about golf."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My golf is woeful but I will never surrender."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I play bad golf for good charities like the LA Police."
Author Name
Personal Development
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