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"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
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"Learn to appreciate every moment of your life, stop thinking of the future too much, you have a choice to make a difference in your life at any time you wish."
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Personal Development
"Live every single moment of your life, for the one thing that is most precious to you."
Author Name
Personal Development
"For most of the people there is no today and there is no tomorrow; for them, there is only the past times! Leave your past to live your today and to live your tomorrow!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"With the past I have nothing to do nor with the future. I live now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We usually lose today, because there has been a yesterday, and tomorrow is coming."
Author Name
Personal Development
"That's all anyone has, and it's always brief, although, of course, some people believe they have a past where they can accumulate things and a future where they will accumulate still more. By the way, speaking of the present moment, do you masturbate a lot?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"In the present epoch of struggle between two worlds the two opposing and antagonistic trends penetrating the foundations of nearly all branches of biology are particularly sharply defined."
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Personal Development
"The present is the blocks with which we build."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You are perfect, not tomorrow, not in the future, but today."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tomorrow' is the thing that's always coming but never arrives. 'Today' is the thing that's already here and never leaves. And because that's the case, I would much prefer to invest in today than sit around waiting for an arrival that's not arriving."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
Present
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
People
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President
"There's no down time any more."
Time
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
People
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
People
"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."
Home
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
Job
"If men have a smell it's usually an accident."
Men
"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"
Baby
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