"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."

Present, Pretty

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"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."

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"I seize the moment and create bliss, right now!"

Amy Leigh Mercree, American Author

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"Bush doesn't present himself as a realpolitik politician."

Peter Singer, Australian Philosopher

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"How do you know antiquity was foolish? How do you know the present is wise? Who made it foolish? Who made it wise?"

Francois Rabelais, French Clergyman

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"If we were left to ourselves, unfettered by legislative enactments, we should gradually withdraw our capital from the cultivation of such lands, and import the produce which is at present raised upon them."

David Ricardo, British Economist

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"I've known for years that you're supposed to be present. I know that thinking about what's happened or thinking about what I want is not going to get me anywhere, but until I quit doing it I'm not present."

Mariel Hemingway, American Actress

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"At present, too much theological thinking is very human-centered."

John Polkinghorne, British Physicist

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"It's easy and natural to be thankful when your expectations are met. The real test of your faith is when things don't go your way, or when you are in pain."

Maddy Malhotra, British Poet

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"I think that you have to present an image that is... true to you, and... the way you would like to be perceived, so I think that through the years I've worked really hard at trying to create an image that is true to me."

Kristanna Loken, American Actress

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"On no further occasion present a flag or medal to an Indian."

Zebulon Pike, American Soldier

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"A poet must be a psychologist, but a secret one: he should know and feel the roots of phenomena but present only the phenomena themselves in full bloom or as they fade away."

Ivan Turgenev, Russian Novelist

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Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"

Baby

"I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods."

Day

"It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old."

Old

"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."

People

"I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away."

Day

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"

Family

"What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do."

Thought

"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family."

Family

"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."

People

"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"

People