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"People skills are useless with cats, because cats are immune to training, and do whatever they decide in any situation... And most importantly they aren't human."
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"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."
"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."
"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."
"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."
"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."
"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."
Explore more quotes by Will Advise
"Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie."
"I sometimes go to a mythical place called 'workplace', where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off."
"In days long past, Jarod said he'd write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that sentence, like my love, is clearly not for sale, unlike his virginity, or this book, which I'm both offering at ten times the market value, so hurry up and buy now, before it goes down."
"The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that."
"I don't sleep. I just let my body lie itself into numbness and lie to myself that I can't hear, see, or feel anything."
"If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do."
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