"She wished now she'd brought that vibrator as a flashlight instead of leaving it on the couch."

Humor, Realism, Surprise, Reality

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"She wished now she'd brought that vibrator as a flashlight instead of leaving it on the couch."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

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"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

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"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Work, Food, Care

Explore more quotes by Jill Shalvis

"God save her from annoying Alphas."

Humor

"Experience is what you get when you didn't know what you wanted."

Life

"Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card..."

Humor

"Damn. A dead body. I hate it when that happens."

Mortality

"Accept that some days you're the bug, and some days you're going to be the windshield."

Life

"I might have to rescind my no-love rule," she said, a cookie in each hand. "Cookies are my sweet spot.' He smiled. "They're not your only sweet spot."

Relationship

"Never do anything that you don't want to have to explain to 9-1-1 personnel."

Safety

"I don't want to dig him or his sexy self. But I keep losing my clothes when I'm with him."

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"How about we give each other everything we can and not blame each other for what we can't."

Compassion

"There was the amount of time you'd known someone and then there was the way you'd spent that time."

Relationship