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"A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid."
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"When you share your moments of joy with friends, that memory lasts forever."
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Personal Development
"A true friend is a person that will shout at you when you're wrong, hold your hand when you fall down, dance with you during the good times, and stay with you during your ups and downs."
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Personal Development
"With your, love touch someone's heart, feel their soul, enjoy their bliss, share your joy, and then become their friend."
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Personal Development
"Truth has very few friends and those few are suicides."
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Personal Development
"A best friend is someone that will stand in your storm and tell you the lightening is beautiful just to make you realize that your heart was worth getting soaked."
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Personal Development
"And say my glory was I had such friends."
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Personal Development
"Friendship is not about ships-no matter how big and fancy and expensive the yacht is."
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Personal Development
"Judge not the value of a friend by the number of boy- or girlfriends they helped you get. But by the number of books they've recommended to you."
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Personal Development
"A friend you have to buy won't be worth what you pay for him."
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Personal Development
"Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly."
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"A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid."
Friendship
"Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it."
Humor
"We really got a lot of very conservative gay people. You could look at the figures from the last election and realize that a third of the gay movement voted Republican."
People
"I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir."
Gay
"My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things."
Family
"They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India."
Woman
"Lesbians are likely to be drawn to stand-up, if only because it's cheaper to produce and therefore more accessible for women. But the very form of stand-up is masculine."
Woman
"I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think it's just so fabulous to laugh. I don't mind if people think, either. I think the brain is a very sexy organ."
People
"When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out."
Brother
"I try something new every night. It's an hour show; if it works I maybe try it a few more times and then move that off and try something new. It's a great workshop for me."
Night
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