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Christopher Moore

"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"

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"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"

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"The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment He has scattered broadcast...The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose an obstacle to our return to God...Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

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"Conflict connects us to life, just as life connects us to conflict."

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"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"
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"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."
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"Rivera rubbed his temples. 'Satan told you to do it?' he said wearily.'No.''Elvis?''I told you, it's supernatural."
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"She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species."
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"You cannot believe what you do not believe, Rumi siad. I am an Untouchable because my karma dictates it."
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"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
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"Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him...."
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Christopher Moore
"Blessed with the Beta Male imagination, he spent much of his life squinting into the future so he might spot ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him..."
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Christopher Moore
"Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism."
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Christopher Moore
"Does the work get easier once you know what you are doing?''Your lungs grow thick with stone dust and your eyes bleary from the sun and fragments thrown up by the chisel. You pour your lifeblood out into works of stone for Romans who will take your money in taxes to feed soldiers who will nail your people to crosses for wanting to be free. Your back breaks, your bones creak, your wife screeches at you, and your children torment you with open begging mouths, like greedy baby birds in the nest. You go to bed every night so tired and beaten that you pray to the Lord to send the angel of death to take you in your sleep so you don't have to face another morning. It also has its downside."
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